Get Down With Your Bad Self

Lately, I cannot take people's bullshit.
There are so many stupid shit that bugs me to the point of crying myself to sleep.
Losing really close friends to assholes or even the fear of being played once again.
I've finally made up my mind on what boy I want.
Ah, there's just something about him that just makes me want him more and more each day.
He has a place in my heart, but then I don't know if I can put my faith into him,
I don't see him that much so who knows what's going on.
All I can do is hope for the best 'cause he does mean quite a lot to me, even if it doesn't seem like it or maybe he doesn't know but really he does.
Girls, the fucking immature nature of teenage girls just makes me wonder how I can survive high school everyday. There rude and mean comments about every single bitch that walks by isn't needed. What happen to peace and love?
So, since I've brought this up there is a girl that has been saying shit behind my back which isn't that much of a shock since I like her ex... but you know what? this girl doesn't even know one thing about me, I've maybe talked to her like twice? so, I hate people that judge people and don't really know them on the inside, just one look and they "can tell" that the person is a slut or a bitch. Fuck that shit.
I've made two great new friends whoI already trust, but one is falling in lust with the wrong guy. All he does is treat my other friend and I like total pieces of shit, and I ain't down. Makes me wonder if she is even a real friend sometimes, I love her like a sister but things need to change or I will fucking change them myself.
My dad is still being the same, like always he never does anything to help me or even fucking give me some money.
It's always about my other siblings and never me. But yet who does all the work around my house? me, not them, me.
It is completely non fair of him to act like he doesn't care about me and give the world to my brother and sister.
Mom.. yeah she's still a joke. In and out of rehab. Never seems to work really. She will never change for herself and my family.
So, I am simply done with her forever. I want nothing to do with her at all.
This blog was pretty much a venting blog about everything that has been going on, sorry haha, but I needed to get it out.

to the moon and back babe.

How I long to be in your arms again.
How I love being just right beside you,
How I miss holding on to you.
don't play me,
don't hate me,
just
love me.

Being easy ain't pretty my sugar coated baby,

"My desire to kiss you has completely diminished. Due to the fact that your lips on my lips just might be your foot on my throat."

This is the time and place where I say that I am done with my ex lover and have fallen for another new lover.

I'm just done with being hurt all the time and being lied too.

Being two faced doesn't get you anywhere love, just in the dumps of my love.

Hope you're life is great without me, I do not want to talk to you anymore, maybe in a year from now, until then have a nice life lame ass.

So as I fall back in love soon I will have my peace of mind back,

'cause my eye has been on some one new, some one beautiful.

I want to move on, because I have let go.

New life would be just fine.

Thanksgiving much?

Since it's thankgiving, I wanted to write about what I am thankful for.
Which would be one person;
yes. not a thing, a person.
I am thankful for my oldest sister, Katie.
I just really relized how I never missed someone so much in just 3 weeks.
She has done sooo much for me and I can't even thank her enough for everything.
She not only is my older sister, she is my best friend,
I know if I ever need anything, I can go with her with no shame but just pride even if it is something I should be ashamed of.
She is one of the greatest people in my life and I love her with all my heart.
So here's to you on this wonderful day. enjoy yourself and remember I am here for you always.
Thank you.

My heart on the floor.

"Here I am with my heart on the floor and my love out the door."

In the past weeks I have been with the two boys that my heart cannot seem to pick which one is the right one for me.
To tell you the trust I really don't think they like me... sadly.
Well, I got fucked over by one already. I was with him the other day and so stupidly of me I made out wtih him, a lot. Then the next day we were going to go to the movies together, yes another lame ass date, but then he calls me and tells me he cannot go. I wonder why?
Later that day I found out that he just played me around and likes another girl, who isn't me.
WHY DOES THIS SEEM TO ALWAYS HAPPEN?!
So, I haven't talked to him since, which I'm really sad about because he does mean a lot to me but he just doesn't care. At least he pretends too but really I know the truth in his heart.
The other boy, haha slave.
He wants me so badly but he doesn't show it in public places like school or anywhere else unless it's his house.
He's usually nice to me there but out it's a different story. He lies to a lot of people about us.
It really makes me mad and makes me think if he is even worth my time.
I really don't know what do to but all I know is my heart is on the floor and it keeps getting steped on.