i'm going insane

baby, please stop doing this too me. You breaking my mind, i can't think straight anymore, your voice is always playing in the back of my head. All I do is sit in this room and think of you. I just want to be happy, finally. I've been waiting forever for this, and it's going to be the death of me. As I toke my bong I think of all the good times we had that mean the world to me and I will never forget them. I can't deal with the mind games, and the heartache. I'm in such a great sadness and you seem to take all my worries away. I'm safe with you, loved like no other. But this pain I feel when your away is uncontrollable, I try to make it go away yet it makes it way back into my heart. Just know your my hero, and I'll keep waiting, and waiting. Heartbreak after heartbreak...

stop, take some time to think.

I haven't really given any thought to my life in a while, yes I do think I'm going on the right track right now. Getting into school again, hopefully getting onto ontario works and have moved into an non-toxic environment that can only do wonders for me.

but, love has taking it's way horribly into my life.
I fell in love in the fall, with someone who I don't think I can live without and I don't think I will ever have these strong feelings for anyone. Lucky he loves me too but since life is a fuck up there has to be a twist to everything. I have to wait, and wait and wait.... and wait. How unfair is this?
if you really loved me like you say you do, wouldn't you give up the world for me?
or
try your fucking hardest to see me?
distance is our problem, and it will be the death of me.

I've been gone for so long.

I want to get back into my blogger since it was once the only thing that I cared about.
This year has been FILLED with it's up's and down's. Fell out of love with someone who I thought was my world, moved back into my father's , now back moved out for good with a new friend, old lovers coming back and a new school on top of everything. Mom's still sick as a dog but everyday she is fighting for her life.

Weed is still my one love, but I don't smoke it as much as I used too.
Drinking isn't my favourite thing anymore so I guess you could say I have learned the hard way.

Life seems good for right now and I'd like to keep it that way.