Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
, this one is for the heart still beating
I've fallen back in love,
one mission for the new year complete.
Joey Mitchell,
one day you'll really see how much you mean to me.
I can't say it enough about how much I love you.
You won't leave me, you will only embrace me.
You've given up so many things for me,
you will change for me.
but please not too much.
I fell in love with the person you are,
not what you wear,
not your hair,
not your face
just your mind.
be forever mine.
♥
one mission for the new year complete.
Joey Mitchell,
one day you'll really see how much you mean to me.
I can't say it enough about how much I love you.
You won't leave me, you will only embrace me.
You've given up so many things for me,
you will change for me.
but please not too much.
I fell in love with the person you are,
not what you wear,
not your hair,
not your face
just your mind.
be forever mine.
♥
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The ups, downs and all around's.
I actually feel that I'm going insane, I've never felt so depressed in my life.
I just feel like ending everything but I know I'm way stronger then that.
I can never give up. I'm way better then everyone who brings me down. I am dying inside these walls I call a home. I can't handle having people telling me what to do or grounding me for the stupidest things I've ever heard. Everything is so twisted in this house. Someone twist-est everything around just to get me in shit. I never really realized how much people don't care about me. My own family doesn't even care that for the past week I have been crying myself to sleep or breaking down. I feel unstable to continue this life. But, I can't leave because of those few people who do care. Those few people who do anything for me. I just need to find that peace of mind that I'm looking for. Something to help me move on with my life and not dwell on fucking immature idiots in my house. Someday, I'm just going to leave everything behind and start out new. Block everyone that has made my life hell, never talk to them again or never see them again.
I'm done.
I am not where I belong.
I need help to survive.
I just feel like ending everything but I know I'm way stronger then that.
I can never give up. I'm way better then everyone who brings me down. I am dying inside these walls I call a home. I can't handle having people telling me what to do or grounding me for the stupidest things I've ever heard. Everything is so twisted in this house. Someone twist-est everything around just to get me in shit. I never really realized how much people don't care about me. My own family doesn't even care that for the past week I have been crying myself to sleep or breaking down. I feel unstable to continue this life. But, I can't leave because of those few people who do care. Those few people who do anything for me. I just need to find that peace of mind that I'm looking for. Something to help me move on with my life and not dwell on fucking immature idiots in my house. Someday, I'm just going to leave everything behind and start out new. Block everyone that has made my life hell, never talk to them again or never see them again.
I'm done.
I am not where I belong.
I need help to survive.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Drunks, Lovers, Sinners And Saints
A lot has happend in the past week,
new boyfriend,
new step mom,
new friends,
new parties,
and lost friends.
As we all know, this boy just broke up with me about two weeks ago and again I have a new one. You can say I move on fast but I rather you not. I actually really believe this boy won't hurt me since I've been like his fourth girlfriend in his whole life, and all of the girls have broken his heart and he always brings that up. He's so scared that he's going to lose me to the point of crying over it almost every night. He calls me and cry's, he sees me and cry's and he think's of me and cry's. I know it sounds like he's always crying but he isn't. He also cares about me a lot, but he has thoughts in this mind that aren't right. Killing himself crosses his mind sometimes but when doesn't it cross our own minds? It's a normal thing, I've thought about it too but I just want him to know that isn't the answer. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary solution. He just needs to know that everything in life is going to end up okay. Hope for the best tomorrow, after hoping the best of today.
Another thing that has happend is I just got a new step mom. She is pretty chill but what comes with her is her three kids. Who I have no problem with, actually I have gotten close to two of them. They have fastly became part of the family. Now I don't agree with this whole moving in thing, but what can I do? nothing. My dad is still the huge dick he has always been so he wouldn't listen to me even if it was for the best. Since she's moved in I've been partying more and more then I was before, and I did party a lot before so image how much I do now. Which I don't have a problem with getting wasted and really high with just awesome people around me. I've made a lot of new friends who are actually really good people who I'm glad I met.
Problems,Problems and more Problems with my best friends.
One of my best friends is actually being a bitch in a half to me all of the sudden.
I didn't change or do anything to her. I miss her and my other friend too but it seems that they don't want me to be around anymore. Which makes me so upset. I also always invite them to hang out with me and the other but they're always busy. All I know is that I can't lose them over something so stupid.
So, as you can see a lot has happend in the past week. Sometimes I think I can't handle it anymore...
new boyfriend,
new step mom,
new friends,
new parties,
and lost friends.
As we all know, this boy just broke up with me about two weeks ago and again I have a new one. You can say I move on fast but I rather you not. I actually really believe this boy won't hurt me since I've been like his fourth girlfriend in his whole life, and all of the girls have broken his heart and he always brings that up. He's so scared that he's going to lose me to the point of crying over it almost every night. He calls me and cry's, he sees me and cry's and he think's of me and cry's. I know it sounds like he's always crying but he isn't. He also cares about me a lot, but he has thoughts in this mind that aren't right. Killing himself crosses his mind sometimes but when doesn't it cross our own minds? It's a normal thing, I've thought about it too but I just want him to know that isn't the answer. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary solution. He just needs to know that everything in life is going to end up okay. Hope for the best tomorrow, after hoping the best of today.
Another thing that has happend is I just got a new step mom. She is pretty chill but what comes with her is her three kids. Who I have no problem with, actually I have gotten close to two of them. They have fastly became part of the family. Now I don't agree with this whole moving in thing, but what can I do? nothing. My dad is still the huge dick he has always been so he wouldn't listen to me even if it was for the best. Since she's moved in I've been partying more and more then I was before, and I did party a lot before so image how much I do now. Which I don't have a problem with getting wasted and really high with just awesome people around me. I've made a lot of new friends who are actually really good people who I'm glad I met.
Problems,Problems and more Problems with my best friends.
One of my best friends is actually being a bitch in a half to me all of the sudden.
I didn't change or do anything to her. I miss her and my other friend too but it seems that they don't want me to be around anymore. Which makes me so upset. I also always invite them to hang out with me and the other but they're always busy. All I know is that I can't lose them over something so stupid.
So, as you can see a lot has happend in the past week. Sometimes I think I can't handle it anymore...